so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so let's talk penis.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
