I hate your face
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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