Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
