your thong is hanging out like whoa
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
