we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Who died my cat blue again?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
