I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You smell like stripper and shame
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize