then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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