Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
