Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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