Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
