it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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