if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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