If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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