IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
