just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
