i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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