He asked to "fluff my boner.."
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
