At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You smell like stripper and shame
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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