i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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