actually, I'm a sock model
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
