hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
