I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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