just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
