so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
