dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
