remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
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when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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