Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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