I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
