spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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