i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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