and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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