can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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