Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
