well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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