HIV tests are more positive than that guy
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
