Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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