I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
