The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
