Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
