You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
