Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
