He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
