Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
