I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
