and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
