i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize