your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
