What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize