Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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