U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
