Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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