so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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