Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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