hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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