Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
