I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
